Image courtesy of artur84, www.freedigitalphotos.net
By Debbie Croft, Croft Coaching / Geneva Coach Alliance
I wonder how many of you feel like some kind of calmness has resumed and you can just about remember what day you are meant to be where for drop off/pick up of school/clubs/play dates. In these first few weeks back at school, I really have had that “Friday feeling” at the end of each week! I was quite surprised how 5 days of simply enabling your children to go to school can be quite so exhausting! Then I thought about it some more:
- My youngest started school for the 1st time and although it was all very familiar to her, (and equally to me), it was still a relief that she settled into it.
- Despite thinking I was "Mrs organised” with the long list of items to return with for my eldest starting 3P, I still discovered a few items that I had to race around for on week 1!
- There was no lunch club in the 1st week so I was up and down to school 4 times a day, 4 times a week, with thankfully one day off on the day that I share childcare with another Mum.
- My vocabulary improved some more as I read and re-read (armed with my dictionary) several letters and articles of law around absence, so I could sign in marked spots!
- Week 3, youngest daughter came home with cold & sore throat!
At the same time, I was back at work too, after being off most of August from my own part-time business, so there were some clients I wanted to see. All a big juggling act! It made me think of the many parents I had spoken to over the summer at the pool/in the park, who were asking themselves, “shall I return to professional work?”. During the summer, they were reflecting on their feelings of:
“I need something else”, "I fantasise about setting up xxxxx", “I want to re-claim my identity and purpose, outside being a Mum/Dad” and/or “I would like a piece of independence”.
I imagine that if the first few weeks of the school return were anything like mine, they soon started questioning “is it really possible to be able to work and be the primary carer?”. Yet, very soon, as the children and we settle back into the routine that we so quickly adapt to, those feelings arise again; “shall I?”, “shan’t I?” and the emotions that come with them: excitement, guilt, fear, desire, expectation. When you start to consider the question of working, it is like being on a roller-coaster, some days very clear on your decision to return, others days less so. On the ‘less so’ days, you then typically think of all the reasons why it isn’t possible: “I don’t speak French”, “I have no childcare”, “my skills are out of date”, “I don’t know what I even want to do now although I know what I don't want to do!”, “I’m not sure I have the confidence”….It is however feasible to have both. How?
Here are some pointers:
- Consider what a healthy work/life balance looks like for you and map it onto a week diary. Reflect on how many hours you would like to work and the best mix it can be. Remember to also include activities outside career and family, so that there is space for your own "energisers" too - be it sport, hobbies, learning. Don't worry about the "how" just yet.
- Think about project and work environments you have thrived in, in the past - is it office based, home, out and about, with others, alone, etc. What type of cultures do you love working in?
- Recall your "peak experiences" whether they are in work, on projects outside of work - what skills and strengths were you using which made it a great experience?
- Dare to dream - what have you always wanted to do and thought "no, it's impossible...."
Once you are clear on what a healthy mix looks like for you, the skills and strengths you want to use, what you are looking to gain from it, then it becomes easier to explore options, make decisions and become “unstuck”. With the greater awareness of what is possible; combined with an understanding of what fears and limiting beliefs you need to overcome, choices arise.
If you would like the support to gain this awareness and clarity, so you can make some decisions and come out of being torn between the two, then there is a programme starting in Nyon, specifically for parents who are contemplating a return to work but have a lot of questions and doubts, despite the desire to do so – how? what? why? when?….For more information, please visit the website http://www.genevacoachalliance.com/content/shall-i-return-work-after-break-family and call/email Debbie.
Bio
The Geneva Coach Alliance (GCA) is a small team of certified Coaches with different areas of expertise, offering a full range of services, both in coaching as well as in training and consulting; including leadership development, career transition, relocation & well-being services and HR (specialising in Talent Acquisition and Talent Management). The GCA (MJ Cabanel, Debbie Croft, Esther Goette and Natalie Wilkins) all share a passion: they are committed to helping people unlock their passions; supporting and encouraging clients on their journey of discovery and awareness, to create powerful choices.
This month, the GCA blog is written by Debbie Croft. Debbie, a Career, Relocation and Life coach, is skilled at motivating individuals to build on their strengths, discover their aspirations, and find the confidence and energy to move forwards in their life. She often coaches individuals outside, near the lake or walking through the vineyards. Debbie is an accompanying spouse, living in Switzerland, with her husband and two daughters, so understands what it’s like to juggle the many demands of family life, be focused and energised about her career and make the most of the outdoor playground that Switzerland provides.
Debbie Croft
079 918 85 71
This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
www.genevacoachalliance.com
